A radical life changing story of how a woman walks away from her 'norm' seeking ancient knowledge first from the Aboriginal Australians and then finding her path being steered towards Tibetan Buddhism.
I feel deep in turmoil – caught in between two worlds.
I’m doing my best to leap into a different culture other than my own, but it comes with many challenges and inner turmoil.
In my mind I act and behave in my white ways. I’m naive and trusting. I speak honestly and truthfully. I act on my own individual ways.
I assume that people will act in a way I’m familiar with.
But they don’t.
They act in ways they are familiar with.
BUT, that makes sense, huh?
Recently I was swept off my feet by an Indigenous man. It was a huge eye opener to experience our vast differences.
I like to talk to people. I talk to people a lot. I’m very chatty. Especially when I’m going through challenging times – this is when I need to talk to a cherished and trusted friend. I have at least a handful of people I chat to. I share my feelings and emotions and am eager to hear their perspective – which gifts me with a new way of seeing things.
He doesn’t talk about feelings and emotions. He talks about practical things. “How’s the weather?” “Caught any fish lately?” I didn’t recognise this soon enough.
I talked to him about my feelings.
Now, I come from a world in which people are eagerly diving into personal development and self improvement. One of my dear friends and brother is fascinated with exploring core beliefs and we’ve had many in-depth conversations that go on for hours on a particular issue one of us (often both of us) is going through. At the end of the conversation there’s a deeper understanding of the situation. I always walk away feeling empowered from these conversations.
And so I dive into my feelings and emotions with my new man. Ugh!
Now due to his reaction I’m assuming that his world expects that feelings and emotions are bad… that they indicate harsh judgement, criticism and forever punishment for doing wrong. I remember that perspective back from my childhood where I was supposed to be only happy or something was wrong.
What an enlightening experience.
As I step out of my normal world I experience different things – different norms – that do not belong to me. The real challenge is how I react to these differences. This exploration into a new culture is really forcing me to look at myself more deeply. Who am I? What core beliefs permeate my entire being?
My world is different than yours.
Your world is different than mine.
Everyone’s world – is different inside.
I feel myself caught in between two worlds – one I’m familiar with and one I’m still learning.
This lesson did not come to me with ease, joy and glory… it came to me with harsh and sudden disconnection to someone I value greatly. It came with deep hurt and pain. It comes with a need for time to stitch things up and learn more deeply about each other’s worlds.
One of the biggest wake up calls that gifts you with knowledge and wisdom of self.
I’m grateful for that.
I love self.
Only one of the experiences I’ve had caught between two worlds.